


Look at all the Lonely People

by Livfiction



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No Dialogue, One Sided Attraction, Oneshot, deception arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livfiction/pseuds/Livfiction
Summary: He is the Commander under Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi. People looked up to him, respected him, needed him. He was told to be a soldier, and a soldier he would be.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Look at all the Lonely People

**Author's Note:**

> The Deception arc is featured here when Obi-Wan fakes his death.

It doesn’t bother him. 

The hollowness, the emptiness inside his chest, it’s all a lie. 

A trick his brain told himself, mixed emotions, messages, meanings he can’t grasp. He is the Commander under Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi. People looked up to him, respected him, needed him. He was told to be a soldier, and a soldier he would be. 

He ignores the thoughts that circle in his head.

_ This isn’t you. _

Isn’t it? He has done things many should be proud of, he has won battles and has felt the flame of victory. He carries grief and pain among his brothers, he stands beside one of the most respected Jedi in the galaxy. 

  
  


He ignores the longing for finding a piece of him he can’t describe, he ignores the emotions that swell when they shouldn’t, he ignores what he really wants. Commander Cody is nothing but a number, a rank in a system no one really knows who stands behind. 

He ignores the way he stares.

The way he can’t stop staring.

The small spark in Obi-Wan’s eyes when he’s proud. The way he forgets every Jedi code when someone he loves is in danger. Every smile that graces his face and every tear that’s shed. Or the way he looks at his brothers, in admiration and kindness. The way his hair gleams in the sun or the youthful expression he has when he’s finally asleep. 

He loves every flaw. Every single one. The way Kenobi gets frustrated when things don’t go his way, or the constant fidgeting when he gets stressed. 

_ He loves him. _

_ He loves him. _

_ He loves him.  _

Just as a friend should. He convinces himself he wants to be Obi-Wan. He convinces himself that he’s mesmerized by his personality. He convinces himself that he loves him like a brother. 

He ignores the truth. 

He can’t bring himself to admit anything in fear of unlocking a door that can’t be locked again. He could never go back, never retreat. It’s easier to keep it hidden away, though it always lurks in the shadows. 

He can see the way Obi-Wan wants to be friends. The small laughs and friendly touches. He can’t chance it. He doesn’t trust himself. Short replies leave his mouth before he can even register the question. 

If he stays his distance, he won’t have to face it. 

But then Obi-Wan tells stories. Each detail given with such care, captivating the audience around him. It’s effortless for him to create emotion through words of the past. Cody gets sucked into his world for moments at a time and let’s himself bask in the soft words of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He shares one glance and catches the blue shades in his eyes and in that moment his thoughts center around one thing. 

_ He loves him. _

_ He loves him. _

_ He loves him. _

His ears ring and he looks away, not missing the slight disappointment in Obi-Wan’s posture. He wants to hate him. The way he invites him in so easily, how hard he makes not loving him. Even trying, he could never hate him. No matter what he did, there would always be a part of him that would love. He was an imperfect soldier, luckily, no one would ever know. How could they if he kept his walls so high?

Even knowing Obi-Wan Kenobi was dead, the pain and emptiness was still there. It was always there, firmly planted like roots through his skin. Instead of his heart filled with love, it was filled with...nothing. And that was better than anything else. 

He convinced himself that he had lost a friend.

He convinced himself that he could move on. 

He convinced himself that the part of him that knew the truth, didn’t exist. 

Some days he couldn’t stand that feeling. No amount of weight, convincing, or ignoring could get rid of the dull throb that was the truth, 

his truth. 

It screamed in his body, trying to tear through his walls. Thoughtsthat never turned off, repeating like a broken record.

_ He loved him. _

_ He loved him. _

_ He loved him. _

Just as a friend should.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> I love Cody I swear


End file.
